Category: Uncategorised

Russia Journal – 18th – France’s LaTower scores only 1 pts in Group 3 & goes home

by Gatifun & bill_bill

See all jounal’s post at

December 7th

France’s LaTower scores only 1 pts in Group 3 & goes home

1) Manager, today’s newspaper referers you could one day be considerered a visionair, because of how your tactics were able to nullify your own team. Do you feel this remark makes you justice?

Afer the hardwork, i´m now in my meditation and relax escape from France to Tibet. I think that we had extremly bad luck. As a visionair, i must tell you one example of it: we had the bad luck to go out everynight before the matches… and then we have a “bad luck hang over” during games… tell me that wasn´t bad luck!

2) So far you haven’t resign your position, dispite your underachievings. Ence, do you think the French may be conspiring on a new revolution, bringing back the old but effective guillotine?

I rather the bonfire as Javier Krahe said!

3) I heard the French army has a position open as carrier pigeons manager. I’m not sure pigeons are also able to play football, but will you consider this position as your next professional experience?

We played once against a pingeons team, and we lose, so i think they dont want me as a manager. But no problem, im on charge of the nuclear program now, everybody safe.

Russia WC Journal – Dec 14th – Coca Cola cruises Egypt…

by Gatifun & bill_bill

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Coca Cola cruises Egypt to 1st place in Group 1, overcoming favorite Uruguay

1) Egypt reached 9 pts, with limited resources in all team sectors. Is Mohamed Salah a “1 man show” or you strategized in hieroglyphs so your players would understand the tactic better?

It is a surpise for us to get 9 points. Don’t be mistaken that Muhammed Salah becomes nominee for the top goal scorer. Behind this success is a real team game .It is true that I write the tactics on hieroglyps but sure I cant share them with u

2) I have to disclose you something… WC2018 Journal has an insider in your staff. He just revealed you are working on a “home-cooked” secret tactic based on camels: they can kick in all 4 directions. Are you expecting to boost your goal scoring with it?

We benefited a lot from the shooting technics and milk giving technics of the camles. Without them we cannot get promoted in the group. Our trainings of bicycle kick, free kicks, corners and banana cross balls already started to give out the good results.

3) In case you win the WC2018, the Egyptian Football Federation proposed you as prize the greatest Egyptian honour there is: being mummified with all procedures and rituals & then sent to the Afterlife to dwell among the stars with the dead Pharaohs… and you accepted. Can’t you see that’s the Egyptian equivalent bullshit story to Santa Claus?

It is an honour for me to win the WC2018. We are positive about being mummied as a whole team and just want to bring the world cup to Egypt. With Santa Claus, his deers and our camels, we won’t leave any non-visited planet among the stars. Manager Coca Cola further added “we have the game plan for the final safe & hidden in one of the pyramids!”

December 13th – Boco23 (Morocco): “Kim Jong Un is nothing againts our leader.”

by Gatifun & bill_bill

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2 defeats in 2 matches + 10 goals conceded = Morocco’s BOCo23 is out of the WC2018 knockout phase

1) For a yet young manager, did you feel swimming out of your dept or would you say you’ve actually drowned in this WC2018?

We have not drowned on this cup, one match has left and we will win this. Another WC2018 manager promised us two packs of donuts and sixpack of beer if we win or draw with last opponent. Sorry I can tell who that was, because he is my good friend bill_bill.

2) You’ve recently been named “Slovenian genius” by another WC2018 manager, pointing to the fact that no other Slovenian is coaching in SWOS football. Aren’t you just stubborn or is your daddy bribing King Mohammed VI?

King Mohammed VI is our family friend and he saw talented manager in me. This job is my hobby, in real life i’m IT software developer and crypto entuzaist. With my Bitcoins i have already earned, let’s say 500 milion dollars. King already offered me one of his daughters to marry her.

3) The Royal family of Morocco has publicicly showed displease with your performance. Do you think they will at least allow you to take on a job as vendor in Marrakesh, among snake charmers and acrobats?

Like I said, we are good friend with King’s family. Even we lose all matches, my players with get new apartments and new Ferrari’s LaFerrari. We have good leader, Kim Jong Un is nothing againts our leader.

Russia Journal Dec 12th – Peru traineer (Nestoroide) tough statement against FIFA and doing what he wants

by Gatifun & bill_bill

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December 12th –

Peru traineer (Nestoroide) tough statement

“After the first win for Peru, FIFA send us a notification about Paulo Guerrero: he is banned, ¡CANNOT play for a year!

But Peru team has just 2 forwards, and FIFA are bullshit, so I decided to play with Paulo last 2 games in my group, he did pretty well: scores +7 goals in last 2 games (Peru got a draw vs Australia 2-2 and won 6-5 vs France).

We are playing pretty well, and we need Paulo, so If FIFA tells us again than he cannot play, we just send to them a middle finger and continue playing. 🙂 ”

December 11th – Betting shop favourite Dota & Hairfu hot comments!

by Gatifun & bill_bill

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December 11th

Grateful Dota after being called the favourite player to win the World Cup

“This vote did not fought in Café King xD. I promise! – I feel really really honored. But with this title we didn’t won the worldcup already. We need to win a lot of games if we want to reach the final. So we stay focused!”

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Hairfu (Denmark) says bye bye after a good match

France (LaTower) 0 – 1 Denmark (HairFU)

“We have made a good result to say good bye from World Cup. I can live with that match we show today. But after all it was not a good groupstage by us. I will resign from the danish team. Hope some other coach can make it better here.”

Russia WC Journal — 9th Last edition – bill_bill & Hairfu’s great interviews

by Gatifun & bill_bill

See all jounal’s post at

December 9th – Last edition

Portugal 1 – 3 Iran – Portugal manager has a hard digestion

“My players received nuclear bombing threats on their families, were we to win. We were coerced into giving up on the match!

This unethical way of pressure is a recurrent and unaceptable theme from these “kingdom of tirany” type of countries! And, sinse FIFA is in bed with them, there isn’t much we can do…”

December 9th – Last edition

Denmark (Hairfu) sailing in a hard group with Peru (Nestoroiede), Australia (Bomb) & France (Latower)

1) Mr. HairFU, viewed by some as a betting nominee to win it all, you couldn’t fulfill those expectations. Great work selling yourself btw… Are you sure you’re talent ins’t in sales?

Maybe I should go to politics. Never have thought about my real potential. But to be honest to give the role of a favorite is always a game to make pressure to your opponent.

So I told my player that they are not as good as the public try to tell us and they don’t have to worry to fill out a role they don’t fit to. We never was any favorite for the world cup.

2) Remembering the gloomy match vs Peru, later nicknamed “half-dozen party”, I’ll risk saying most WC2018 managers can’t name 3 of their players. As for you manager, did u learn their names as they appeared on the scoreboard?

There is nothing to remember. We don’t respect any team that deals with drugs. So this team should have banned before. After a few days past my conclusion about this nameless team was that this was only possible in favor of doping.

3) But to the point.. will you be seeking a contract extention, counting on the fact that Danes are one of the happiest people on earth?

So far I did not feel any happiness when I think about my team. Probably it is time hand over my team to one of the danish star coaches that refused to coach this team in the past.

Russia WC Journal – Betting shop closed, Iran nuclear power, Morocco speaks

by Gatifun & bill_bill

See all jounal’s post at

December 9th

Betting shop finished

3 votes for Dota POLAND

2 votes for Kib_diz CROATIA & Djowger COSTA RICA

1 vote for Lemonheadiv PANAMA, bobbiebobras IRAN, Sasy_maradona TUNISIA, alpino RUSSIA, Hairfu DENMARK, arcisas MEXICO, enbino ENGLAND, Crypbat ARGENTINA, Latower FRANCE

December 9th

BOCo23, Morocco manager, speaks up after match against Iran:

“I don’t know what to say… After match where we lost 1-5 I don’t know what to say…

Our King Hassan II will… Will take everything from Ferrari’s, jachts, planes to our wifes.

Oh ye, congratulations going to Iran, they are f* nuclear team. It doesn’t matter with Iranian nuclear program.”

Russia WC Journal – December 8th Last edition

by Gatifun & bill_bill

See all jounal’s post at

December 8th – Last edition

WC2018 reporter bill_bill attempts to interview himself… interview Portugal’s manager

1) Are you aware other WC2018 managers nicknamed you “bill _tha_mouth”? Are you waiting on Elvis return to write something readable, for once?

My boss Mr. Gatifun, editor in chief, a.k.a. Tsubasa, keeps telling me everyday “thanks in the name of community!”. Haven’t seen him face to face ever, but i’m convinced he ain’t a bot with a broken record attached to his mouth (fingers, that is)…!

2) Analysing your WC2018 Group opponents, Mr. bobbie’s players are all one eyed, Mr. BOCo23 just started managing & Mr. Cillvs only gives coaching once a year during his 1st job’s vacation. Besides, you get to play Ronaldo. Why do you think in the world we keep seeing, over and over, incompetente people getting lucky?

Must be charm, I guess… and my opponents are actually WC2018 Title contenders! See it like this:

a) Mr. bobby, 83 goals in the last ASL1 league & ASL1 top scorer for 2017, at least! He is able to build a team of 11 Lionel Messis, out of cockroaches!! …now that I come to remeber it, I think he lost that November ASL1 Championship in the finish line…

b) Mr. BOCo23, only active Slovenian in SWOS world… so he must be a genius, right?

c) Mr. Cillvs… so he has multiple jobs, you say? Well only Superman can hold
multiple jobs so he must also be a genius & with superpowers!

3) Mr. Gatifun publicly asked you “to be serious” in his latest WC2018 interview. Would you consider changing your journalistic title to “WC2018 clown”?

Would only consider it, if my boss Tsubasa asked me to. I’m only getting feedback from him, on my “journalistic” pieces, and fans (fan…1 & only) should be esteemed!

Russia WC Journal – 8th December

by Gatifun & bill_bill

December 8th

Mexico compromises vs South Korea & goes home. Manager Mr. Arcisas on the hook

Mexico (Arcisas) 0 : 2 South Korea (Armando)

1) Mexican fans accused your players of drinking margaritas, wear sombreros & eat guacamole during the 2-0 loss vs South Korea. Were you expecting your opponents to do the same? 1) Mexican fans accused your players of drinking margaritas, wear sombreros & eat guacamole during the 2-0 loss vs South Korea. Were you expecting your opponents to do the same?

The thing is, what’s wrong with some good mexican cousine? Especially during the match? Everyone can eat before the match, anybody can eat after the match but eating during the match was our special weapon that was supposed to confuse our rivals.
The other thing is, we sent many scouts to Korea in order to establish the best possible picture of our opponent’s playing style. But the mistake was made and our scouts were sent to the wrong side of the Korean border. Well, we haven’t heared from them for some time now and we’re starting to worry…

2) Winning 4 points in Group 6 represents an honourable campain but, just so fans can understand, …do your managing strengths reside on performing the Mexican national anthem?

You see, I wasn’t really performing it. I’m Polish and I have to confess that I wasn’t able to learn the lyrics of the Mexican national anthem. But I know that all of the coaches in our group had the same problem, so I don’t think that it really was this much of an issue.
Anyway, on the next WC maybe I’ll try to be a coach of a Japan. I’ve heard that their anthem doesn’t have any lyrics in it.

3) Mexican children do not receive presents on Christmas Day & Chicharito wasn’t able to at least offer them some hapiness. I guess Mexican business magnate Carlos Slim will have to keep resolving everything back home, right?

It’s good that you’re asking about him, beacuase I’ve already talked with him and I’m proud to anounce that we now have mutual plans for making a huge charity for the children. I was also able to concvince Chicharito to give one of his socks from the game with South Korea (the very same that was on his injured ankle during this match, still unwashed!) to the auction house.
The auction house will then make an auction and the whole income will be further give to this charity of ours (minus my small 20% fee). Chicharito and I will always find a way to make the children happy, one way or another.

Mr. Sasy’s Tunisia underdelivers in the 2 first World Cup matchs

1) Five Italian Managers started this world cup, but they will likely be a rare species in the next knockout phase. What do they teach Italians at swosit school? Is the “catenaccio” dead?

Catenaccio will alive yet …… but unfortunatly, we have got no way to SCORE a fucking gol

2) So manager Mr. Sasy, Tunisia has 1 point in 2 matchs, against those ASL4 amateur type of managers… What happened to the great Sasy legend?

Sasy is manage Tunisia best as he can . I just fought 2 matchs and not found yet a real forward in Tunisia Team. I m sure , that my little Son Christian , 2 years old , has got a stronger SHOT that all Tunusia player Team !!

junior Christian, Juventus fan from early age"
junior Christian, Juventus fan from early age”

3) Well not everything is bad.. Italian ladies! The most beatifull in the world! What’s your view, as an insider?

I agree. We have got really the beautiful girls in world. They are pretty, beautiful, sunshine and really sexyyyyyyyyyyy