Month: December 2017

Russia WC Journal — 9th Last edition – bill_bill & Hairfu’s great interviews

by Gatifun & bill_bill



See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de


December 9th – Last edition

Portugal 1 – 3 Iran – Portugal manager has a hard digestion

“My players received nuclear bombing threats on their families, were we to win. We were coerced into giving up on the match!

This unethical way of pressure is a recurrent and unaceptable theme from these “kingdom of tirany” type of countries! And, sinse FIFA is in bed with them, there isn’t much we can do…”



December 9th – Last edition

Denmark (Hairfu) sailing in a hard group with Peru (Nestoroiede), Australia (Bomb) & France (Latower)

1) Mr. HairFU, viewed by some as a betting nominee to win it all, you couldn’t fulfill those expectations. Great work selling yourself btw… Are you sure you’re talent ins’t in sales?

Maybe I should go to politics. Never have thought about my real potential. But to be honest to give the role of a favorite is always a game to make pressure to your opponent.

So I told my player that they are not as good as the public try to tell us and they don’t have to worry to fill out a role they don’t fit to. We never was any favorite for the world cup.

2) Remembering the gloomy match vs Peru, later nicknamed “half-dozen party”, I’ll risk saying most WC2018 managers can’t name 3 of their players. As for you manager, did u learn their names as they appeared on the scoreboard?

There is nothing to remember. We don’t respect any team that deals with drugs. So this team should have banned before. After a few days past my conclusion about this nameless team was that this was only possible in favor of doping.

3) But to the point.. will you be seeking a contract extention, counting on the fact that Danes are one of the happiest people on earth?

So far I did not feel any happiness when I think about my team. Probably it is time hand over my team to one of the danish star coaches that refused to coach this team in the past.

Russia WC Journal – Betting shop closed, Iran nuclear power, Morocco speaks

by Gatifun & bill_bill



See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de


December 9th

Betting shop finished

3 votes for Dota POLAND

2 votes for Kib_diz CROATIA & Djowger COSTA RICA

1 vote for Lemonheadiv PANAMA, bobbiebobras IRAN, Sasy_maradona TUNISIA, alpino RUSSIA, Hairfu DENMARK, arcisas MEXICO, enbino ENGLAND, Crypbat ARGENTINA, Latower FRANCE



December 9th

BOCo23, Morocco manager, speaks up after match against Iran:


“I don’t know what to say… After match where we lost 1-5 I don’t know what to say…

Our King Hassan II will… Will take everything from Ferrari’s, jachts, planes to our wifes.

Oh ye, congratulations going to Iran, they are f* nuclear team. It doesn’t matter with Iranian nuclear program.”

Russia WC Journal – December 8th Last edition

by Gatifun & bill_bill



See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de




December 8th – Last edition

WC2018 reporter bill_bill attempts to interview himself… interview Portugal’s manager


1) Are you aware other WC2018 managers nicknamed you “bill _tha_mouth”? Are you waiting on Elvis return to write something readable, for once?

My boss Mr. Gatifun, editor in chief, a.k.a. Tsubasa, keeps telling me everyday “thanks in the name of community!”. Haven’t seen him face to face ever, but i’m convinced he ain’t a bot with a broken record attached to his mouth (fingers, that is)…!

2) Analysing your WC2018 Group opponents, Mr. bobbie’s players are all one eyed, Mr. BOCo23 just started managing & Mr. Cillvs only gives coaching once a year during his 1st job’s vacation. Besides, you get to play Ronaldo. Why do you think in the world we keep seeing, over and over, incompetente people getting lucky?

Must be charm, I guess… and my opponents are actually WC2018 Title contenders! See it like this:

a) Mr. bobby, 83 goals in the last ASL1 league & ASL1 top scorer for 2017, at least! He is able to build a team of 11 Lionel Messis, out of cockroaches!! …now that I come to remeber it, I think he lost that November ASL1 Championship in the finish line…

b) Mr. BOCo23, only active Slovenian in SWOS world… so he must be a genius, right?

c) Mr. Cillvs… so he has multiple jobs, you say? Well only Superman can hold
multiple jobs so he must also be a genius & with superpowers!

3) Mr. Gatifun publicly asked you “to be serious” in his latest WC2018 interview. Would you consider changing your journalistic title to “WC2018 clown”?

Would only consider it, if my boss Tsubasa asked me to. I’m only getting feedback from him, on my “journalistic” pieces, and fans (fan…1 & only) should be esteemed!

Russia WC Journal – 8th December

by Gatifun & bill_bill



December 8th

Mexico compromises vs South Korea & goes home. Manager Mr. Arcisas on the hook


Mexico (Arcisas) 0 : 2 South Korea (Armando)

1) Mexican fans accused your players of drinking margaritas, wear sombreros & eat guacamole during the 2-0 loss vs South Korea. Were you expecting your opponents to do the same? 1) Mexican fans accused your players of drinking margaritas, wear sombreros & eat guacamole during the 2-0 loss vs South Korea. Were you expecting your opponents to do the same?

The thing is, what’s wrong with some good mexican cousine? Especially during the match? Everyone can eat before the match, anybody can eat after the match but eating during the match was our special weapon that was supposed to confuse our rivals.
The other thing is, we sent many scouts to Korea in order to establish the best possible picture of our opponent’s playing style. But the mistake was made and our scouts were sent to the wrong side of the Korean border. Well, we haven’t heared from them for some time now and we’re starting to worry…

2) Winning 4 points in Group 6 represents an honourable campain but, just so fans can understand, …do your managing strengths reside on performing the Mexican national anthem?

You see, I wasn’t really performing it. I’m Polish and I have to confess that I wasn’t able to learn the lyrics of the Mexican national anthem. But I know that all of the coaches in our group had the same problem, so I don’t think that it really was this much of an issue.
Anyway, on the next WC maybe I’ll try to be a coach of a Japan. I’ve heard that their anthem doesn’t have any lyrics in it.

3) Mexican children do not receive presents on Christmas Day & Chicharito wasn’t able to at least offer them some hapiness. I guess Mexican business magnate Carlos Slim will have to keep resolving everything back home, right?

It’s good that you’re asking about him, beacuase I’ve already talked with him and I’m proud to anounce that we now have mutual plans for making a huge charity for the children. I was also able to concvince Chicharito to give one of his socks from the game with South Korea (the very same that was on his injured ankle during this match, still unwashed!) to the auction house.
The auction house will then make an auction and the whole income will be further give to this charity of ours (minus my small 20% fee). Chicharito and I will always find a way to make the children happy, one way or another.


Mr. Sasy’s Tunisia underdelivers in the 2 first World Cup matchs

1) Five Italian Managers started this world cup, but they will likely be a rare species in the next knockout phase. What do they teach Italians at swosit school? Is the “catenaccio” dead?

Catenaccio will alive yet …… but unfortunatly, we have got no way to SCORE a fucking gol

2) So manager Mr. Sasy, Tunisia has 1 point in 2 matchs, against those ASL4 amateur type of managers… What happened to the great Sasy legend?

Sasy is manage Tunisia best as he can . I just fought 2 matchs and not found yet a real forward in Tunisia Team. I m sure , that my little Son Christian , 2 years old , has got a stronger SHOT that all Tunusia player Team !!

junior Christian, Juventus fan from early age"
junior Christian, Juventus fan from early age”

3) Well not everything is bad.. Italian ladies! The most beatifull in the world! What’s your view, as an insider?

I agree. We have got really the beautiful girls in world. They are pretty, beautiful, sunshine and really sexyyyyyyyyyyy

Russia WC Journal – December 7th

by Gatifun & bill_bill



December 8th

Saudi Arabia out of the WC 2018 – manager Mr. Playaveli explains

1) Saudi Arabia is the 1st team confirmed out of the WC 2018 & possibly last placed due to goal average. Are you afraid the King issue your decapitation before your 3rd & final match?

Fortunately, decapitation won’t be an issue. The King is busy with taking his wife to the driving school, since the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has now allowed women to drive cars! Phew…

2) Remembering known cases of Gerard Depardieu and Edward Snowden, will you also be seeking asylum in Russia? Does mother Russia’s cold feel sweeter now?

There were no whistles to blow, hence I don’t have to seek asylum. I’ve recieved a job offer to train the Russian ski team. Not how to ski, but how to take drugs properly without failing the doping tests.

3) Any manager able to steer Saudi Arabia into a more respectable result in the next World Cup?

I heard the Saudis are looking into Meghan Markle, after they heard she will be a Princess, soon!


December 7th

Croatia’s manager Mr. Kib_diZ easy task?

3rd Group match vs Argentina looms on the horizon.
Manager, two wins in two games & qualified to the next phase. Look’s like your cruising Croatia in a sea of tranquility. Have you been adding Red Bull on the players mourning milk?

Guys played first two matches confidently and calmly, getting advantage in a very difficult group.
No red bull and milk! My players drink water and tea only! To achieve the result we need to adhere to the right diet!

Have you consider increasing the odds of Lionel Messi winning the world Cup he is not able to reach by himself, by resting some players on the 3rd Group match?

Participation in the next match of Nikola Kalinic is under question, because he received an ankle sprain in the last match against Iceland. All other players are in full combat readiness and eager to play against one of the favorites of the current championship.

Japan’s Manager Mr. Gatifun confided me he is scared shitless of loosing the 3rd Group match and being invited by Japan’s Emperor to commit harakiri (Japanese ritual suicide).
Would you be so kind to allow Luka Modric to put on some make-up, dye his hair black & help them out?

Cheating in football is completely out of the question! I am confident that Mr. GATIFUN will be able to achieve a positive result with Japan without any help from other teams. Mr. GATIFUN is an experienced coach, and the Japanese have an indestructible spirit of samurai heritage.

Here you can see Mr Gatifun at the time he received this great Mr Kib_diz’s remark…






December 8th

Iceland’s manager Mr. Tim required to deliver, as expectations fly high after the European Championship performance.


1) Manager Tim, do you really believe all that hand clapping technique is going to scare your opponents here in Russia?

Bua! My team is fired up for this World Cup. We just landed from Iceland few days back so my boys still need time to adjust to the hot weather in here. We did not come to scare our opponents, just to spread love and play some world class football.

2) 3 pts in 2 games with the powerhouse Argentina still to play all 3 Group matchs, is a gloomy scenario for Iceland’s expectations. Will Sigurdsson orchestrate Iceland to the next phase?

That’s a tough question. We lost the second game to Croatia due to their good performance and because the guy in charge of translation fell in love with a girl from Siberia, so my boys did not understand fully my instructions. First time to hear Sigurdsson is into classical music.

3) Your team has been acused by the press of not occupying pitch space appropriately. Have you consider handing your players some Viagra so they could at least occupy MORE space?

We are about to properly occupy the pith in our last game. All the families of the players are coming for the last game. They are fired up to occupy anything possible.

Russia WC Journal – December 6th

by Gatifun & bill_bill


December 6th

A happy happy happy Swedish coach!!!

Xflea’s Sweden hammers 5 on Germany!
No obstacles seem to be able to stop Sweden! Is Sweden good at building drilling machines?

Yes we are! And we’re gonna drill all the way to Zion. HEJA SVERIGE!!!

Ibrahimovic decided not to be in this squad. Will you make him cry like a baby, by steering Sweden to the WC 2018 title?

Don’t you dare to talk low of Zlatan! Title is not able to make Zlatan cry, Zlatan makes the title cry he is not getting it 😛

bonus photo: the big one is Zlatan, the little one is the title

In Sweden, you can take sick leave during your vacation if you are ill. Do you guys still believe in Santa Claus?

We can even get paternity leave in second half if needed! Santa Claus left Sweden a long time ago as it is extremely difficult to get high percentage alcohol here…







Today Scores

Croatia (Kib_diz) 2 – 0 Islandia (Tim)
Sweden (Xflea) 5 – 1 Germany (Jose69)
Brazil (Galatapalace) 1 – 4 Costa Rica (djowGer)

Russia WC Journal – December 5th . Last edition :)

by Gatifun & bill_bill


December 5th – last edition


omg what s happening in wcup?

Egypt coach CocaCola talks after game vs Uruguay (Boruc2)

omg what s happening in wcup?
at 70th min uruguay (boruc) leading vs egypt (cocacola)
The referee pointing the pen spot as Mohammend Salah penetrating in to the pen area is brought down by uruguay players.
Uruguayan supporters are anxious.What the hell is this pen for ?
Muslera flying to reach the ball but Ahmedi Hassan shooted strong far close to the goalpost and it is in!The score is 2-1 !
Egypt now getting the wind behind, become uncatchable and here is the result and the statistics…


December 5th – Last edition

Portugal’s manager caustic prognosis for the upcoming match vs Iran (Bobbie)

“This is clearly a team we didn’t want to face. Football ineptitude at its finest, only supported by the petrodollar money lobby… disgraceful!
In fact it is said, behind closed doors, that Iran’s 2030 World Cup hosting bid may already be interfering with the referees work here in Russia.

It is of FIFA’s interest that football gains traction among Iranians & nothing better than “handing” them good results in the previous World Cup editions.
So its’s a game were Ronaldo’s quality will likely not be enough & Mr. bobbie’s tactical skills won’t even be needed.

Expecting the unexplainable from the referee is a given & we can only pray and hope for the best.”

 


Russia World Cup Journal – December 5th

by Gatifun & bill_bill


December 5th

Interview to the awesome and handsome Mr Gatifun (Japan), by bill_bill



1) Mr. Gatifun, 1 win, 1 loss & 3 pts so far, with 1 match to go. All in Japan’s hands to advance onto the next phase. Do you accept the responsability to bag a win in the 3rd match?

Yes, indeed. I will only have an offer to sell tamagotchis if I lose 3rd match.
.

2) First match defeat vs Coolio Jack’s protégée manager DoTa didn’t seem to afect your team’s spirit, since you rebounded immediately with a win.
Any change Japan can merge this psychological resilience with some of Captain Tsubasa’s acrobatics and some jiu jitsu martial art, to surprise Senegal?

We have improved focusing and good playing… Just in case, we have prepared plenty of acrobats and jiu jitsu movs. In case they are not enough, we have some little katanas hidden under shorts too.
.

3) What’s the plan to stop gazelle wingers Sadio Mane & Keita Baldé?

Hummm, eeehhh, uuuuuh, can you tell me tamagotchis prizes pls?
.

4) One final word for the fans at home?

Yeah, of course. I want world to know that Japan is not only Captain Tsubasa, Kamikazes & Samurais. It is also Matzinger Z, Dragon’s ball, Hello Kitty & Doraemon, be serius bill_bill!!!

 



December 5th

Open question to Mr Bomb (AUSTRALIA) after his first world cup match: Denmark (Hairfu) 1 – Australia (Bomb) 2

We were told by an anonymous source that you played a series of unofficial matches against Portugal, few days prior to the World Cup, in which you were severely beaten suffering many goals.

Was this narrow win vs Denmark an evolution from those games & is Australia a clear contender to win Group 3 or is this win just covering a profound weakness in your squad?”

We’ve just got Mr Bomb comments!

Indeed, I think this an evolution coming out of the test-match-marathon against Portugal. Bill_bill, great games man btw.!!! oops…

As new coach of Australia I did not knew my team, its strength and weaknesses so well, but now I know. SO against Denmark I putted my best Defenders (which are not defenders for being honest) in the defense, discovered the sleeping potential of some bench-players end ended up in a pretty lucky 2-1 victory which was mainly a merit of my Goalkeeper which is underestimated in my eyes.

The weakness of my team is profound, but I think I can handle this. oops… lets change topic.
Winning Group 3? Are you crazy???!! Didn’t you see how Peru ripped Denmark, and France did not even start to play! Sorry, I slept like shit tonight. Maybe we can make it to KOs,, we’ll see..
.

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Russia World Cup Journal – 4th December

by Gatifun & bill_bill


December 4th

WC ’18 STATEMENT / FAQ: THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA

(delivered by the manager and the Kings’s spokesman, Playaveli)


  • Death penalty? YES!
  • No penalties for us? Death penalty for the referee!
  • Pitch type? Oily!
  • Temperature? 50° C
  • Women allowed in stadium? Only in Mr. Playaveli’s dressing room!
  • Alcoholic beverages? Only in Mr. Playaveli’s dressing room!
  • Air condition in Egypt’s dressing room? Disabled!
  • Match fixing with Russia? Oil pipelined!
  • Uruguay? Is that sort of a new tea brand?
  • Winning bonus for Mr. Playaveli? 1 Billion US $


    .