– Redhair
– Playaveli
– Coolio
– Bobbiebobras
– Bobrix
– Blazej
– lemonheadiv
– andib
– assura

See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de

bill_bill interviews Gatifun

WC2018 Journal’s Editor in Chief Mr. Gatifun arrested, on embezzlement charges!

Dear SWOS Journal readers, it is with great regreat we anounce the compulsive WC2018 Journal shutdown. Journal’s Bank acounts were mysteriously emptied & bankruptcy became inevitable. We were although able to print one last edition with the interview to former Editor in Chief Mr. Gatifun, in an attempt to bring you the inside story of events…

1) Mr Gatifun, word on the street is once WC2018 ended you decided to bring the 20 geisha masseuses to Spain… against the Japanese Emperor’s will. “La Voz de Galicia” newspaper recent investigation sugests you’ve housed your ladies in a luxury condominium in Sanxenxo, by the Atlantic ocean, but recently fell behind on your bills. Did you took Journal’s money to feed this poor women?

Arrrgh, ;( I spent all my money on geishas pleasure, they told me they fell in love at me! Now geishas have disappeared, and I miss them! they even stole my tamagochi! aaaargh

2) Looks like you’re facing a number of problems at the moment. Besides the embezzlement charges, Japanese emperor sent a ninja squad after you. Will you manage some “SWOS lob in the wind” type of move to get out of this situation?

Well, I hope that ninja squad will be the same at on the picture! I fall easily in love nowadays! Anyway, Japanese emperor is too angry, I can’t walk on streets, tsubasa is too known and I made and aesthetical operation on my face to be like him!

Since you’ll likely be in prison for a long time, I can attend to those geisha in the meanwhile… only as a token of my apretiation for you, of course. Anyway, you should know the SWOS community isn’t judgemental and will receive you with open arms, once you serve your sentence. May SWOS gods be with you!

Thanks, I guessed you can take care of my geishas, but, as they have disappeared, I will send you my 4 dogs and my 8 cats, thank you very much for taking care of them!

Gatifun interviews bill_bill

1) Good morning Mr Bill_bill, recently you have taken over of Russia Journal interviews and developing a very nice work, making people enjoy and wait for your next posts. You even got a jounalism award! Well done mate. Have you planned to leave your current job and become journalism your main activity?

There are 2 complementary views on that. First, yes I should recognize my talents aren’t in playing SWOS, so a full time job in Journalism would likely be the right choice. On the other hand, I can only fool the SWOS community as a serviceable reporter because they understand even less about journalism than me! Now, considering close-fisted godfather Playaveli isn’t letting go of some coins to pay this poor fraudulent reporter, I actually got to find a 3rd option… does “Betting Tips Inc.” sound good for a company name? I’ve noticed SWOS bettors need a hand in this department…

2) Everybody enjoyed your interviews, but, I can see not all was happyness after them: Playaveli lost his job as Arabia Saudi’s trainer, Bomb decided to change to other sport, Nestoroide got in jail, Gatifun lost his job & his geishas crew, yourself was sacked as portugal’s traineer, and hundreds of more victims after your interviews. Do you consider yourself guilty or innocent?

I was only a puppet in Sepp Blatter’s hands… you’ve heard of him, right? He payed me substantially to ruin WC2018 as much as I could, hoping he can retake FIFA’s presidency when he is 101 years old! So don’t think, even for a moment, that DjowGer, Bomb & Nestoroide are any good! They only got to the podium because Sepp Blatter wanted to! All other tragic events that took place in the WC2018 were also of his doing.

3) Fans are eager to know: How is your relationship with your partner Gatifun? many people told really bad things about him: demanding, lazy, and specially very bad swos player. Can you tell us some goships to tell tomorrow at office?

Gatifun is a terrible boss! His idea of giving me a compliment for my reporting work goes in the lines of hosting me in the “Big Dick’s Halfway Inn” during the WC2018! Can you believe it? Without minibar in the room, besides!!

On the “demanding” aspect, he really isn’t because he doesn’t have the time for it. Have you noticed he is always playing SWOS, organizing Fun Cups and so on?? The man dreams about SWOS day & night! He hasn’t time for anything else (geishas included)!!

Truth is he saw too much Tsubasa cartoons since early age & been dreaming about flying kicks, acrobatics and such, ever since. So you see, his Managing position in Japan National Team was his dream job… once he lost that job, he also lost it up there. Lost his joy & never been the same ever since…

4) Well mate, hehe, to finish journal russian, I can’t avoid to tell you thanks and thanks, in the name of swos community we appreciate very much and we have incredible enjoyed your apports. Thanks!

bill_bill at work, hard one nowadays!

Well, thank you! My goal was to arouse some insults from the interviewed WC2018 Managers, but they were all too polite… Couldn’t get under their skin well enough, unfortunately.

FINAL PODIUM

WC2018 Journal is out! Thanks to all the collaborators and readers! Peace!

See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de

January 7th

1) Mr Bomb, dispite the defeat in the final, Australia stunned the world with its performance! SWOS world managers are doing a written petition asking for your return to ASL league. Will you oblige?

Click play first and then double click to see fullscreen

Hi Bill, thank you very much for these nice words. I am happy to hear this! Congratz to Peru again! Unfortunately this month I will have a new internet provider and I am not sure how these fuckers will perform (regarding the ping) … next month I am not able to play. Maybe I can restart in March.

2) Australia pilled on mistakes in the match’s 2nd half. Among those, a leg breaking penalty & uninspired attacking plays… or was this loss actually another one of those water tampring cases? Btw, did your gk lost his contact lens, on the 2nd goal?

Yeah, bitter this! My goalkeeper does not have anything to do with any goal… I think my defense was fallen into a deep – partly deserved! – sleep after the last 2 K.O. rounds with extra time and the deciding goal in the 119. minute (in bothe games) which caused such a big euphorie that my players couldn’t resist to spent their free time in the best clubs in the city. I guess they did not sleep a minute between quarter final and final. But guess what?! The chicks in the clubs were hot as hell!!!

3) The saying goes “no glory for 2nd placers” but in some sports, coming in 2nd place is actually quite nice… do you regret chosing football over say… cycling?

I do not regret anything! Checks … uhm ehm, I mean Chicks were nice man! It is ok for our nation that we are second, no one would be cheering more if we have been first because – I mentioned it in one of the other interviews – Football is not the most important sport. Uhm, my manager just told me I have to leave now. Sorry! Bye! Cya next time!

See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de

Russia Journal 3rd – Nestoroide’s Peru locked in mental hospital after being crowned World Champion!

– Videos and pictures added….

1) Manager, Peruvians are ecstatic! Peruvian Shamans even say this is the beginning of the rebirth of the Inca empire! You think the Peruvian President will save you a seat in the future Inca world board of administration?

As i said before, i’m not interested in soccer anymore, but i will not accept that seat, cause i will be in a few years the future world dictator. muahahaha! (evil laugh).

2) On the other hand, FIFA said it may take away Peru’s title because you disregard the sanctions on Paulo Guerrero by keeping him on the field. Besides FIFA punished you 6 months due to your middle finger stunt. How are you expecting things to unfold?

I don’t mind what FIFA say, we just played for fun, we enjoyed all the games… and want the specs enjoy, the ref enjoy and the rivals too!. Thats the reason why, before all games, we offer some relaxing substances to our rivals. Fun for all!

Click play first and then double click to see fullscreen

3) On the match, critics say you surprised the world by playing, mainly, great defensive football. Was waiting on Australia’s mistakes also part of the plan?

Hahaha!, plan? I just planned the after game party!

4) Recent news sugest Saudy Arabia’s King feels the 1 Billion US$ winning bonus offered to Mr. Playaveli wasn’t enough motivation & he is now prepared to offer you 10x that amont to have you as Manager in the next World Cup. Are you up for that task?

Im not for that, no alcohol in Saudy Arabia, THERE IS NO MONEY ENOUGHT FOR THAT!

See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de

Russia Journal 24th – First edition –

Gatifun seems happy but he got 7 cucumbers on his net!!!

1) Manager Gatifun, harakiri is rounding your body, general strike on your country, big bet dealers are threating you. Why that stupid and idiot smile on your face?

.

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Well, did you read 21th edition of this jounal?

I’m so so happy, never enjoyed as I did with my crew…

2) And what about your match? Really Djowger’s Costa Rica played so good to score 7 times?

After last flight, I took some wrong steps: I sent players to another stadium for example. Fortunately, they could get the correct place by running due to the traffic jam. Don’t get that angry at me, everyone could have a mistake, couldn’t they? They are young men, doesn’t matter…

3) Tsubasa has been very upset. He really hoped you team was going to make it. Costa rica didn’t seem a very strong rival. Do you feel a complete failure by yourself?

No no no, I didn’t failure at all. Stats show Japan played very well, see them, I shooted 31 times, and Djowger only 1 far shoot. No once can understand how he scored 7 goals.

Mister, these aren’t stats, you are reading and old calendar, mate!

Ah, then, hmmmm, well, how could I tell it, better I run away!!!

See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de

December 22th – Last edition

Nestoroide only try to get fun, but he keeps scoring hard…

1) Manager Nestoroide, another 2 high scoring matchs. What’s the secret to keep scoring so many goals?

Well, Paulo shoots and the ball goes to the net, sometimes he does with the head and the ball goes to the net too. In fact i dont know anything about football, i said “yes” to be the manager cause i thought soccer was about to surfing in the caribbean. I started to suspect i was wrong when someone sayd that world cup was in Russia, but thought Russia have some land in the caribbean too.

2) Some managers raised concerns that Peruvian Shamans have been using hallucinogenic drugs to recover your players from fatigue, at a very faster rate than normal! Will you admit to this fact?

No, we didnt used hallucinogenic drugs for recover, we used it just for fun. Cause football its just a game, were here to enjoy the experience.

3) Peruvian president said he is already making arrangements for a WC20018 title celebration party, to be held in Machu Picchu, in a cerimony were Mother Earth will be praised for transmitting infinite energy to your players during matches! He also said you will be covered in Inca gold, as a token for your work! You really trick them, didn’t you?

I didnt do it for the money!, im doing it just for fun, and a little for the drugs…, by the way, why do you ask so much?, im here just to buy stuff again, how many for the pills? You make family discounts?…

Last 16 KO round: Galatapalace’s Brazil stopped by xflea’s Sweden

1) Manager Galatapalace, Brazil goes home with more conceded goals than scored. You had luxury trio Neymar, Gabriel Jesus & William & the good old Brasilian coffee to keep them awake. What else did you need?

Unfortunately we lost and we put towels in the couch. I guess this is my fault not the players’s. I wondered about brazilian dance before the match and wanted to learn samba. Somehow, We forgot to practice. There is a Turkish proverb which explains the situation: “If the imam (the religous leader) farts, the congregation will make shit” which means “If a leader makes a small mistake, his followers will then make big mistakes” I think this is the case: “what we do is shit”.

2) Tiririca, a Brazilian Clown, used slogans including “What does a federal congressman do? I really don’t know – but if you vote for me, I’ll tell ya” and “It can’t get any worse, vote Tiririca”. He became the second-most-voted congressman in Brazil’s history.
If Brazilians got fooled by such bullshiter, I’m sure it won’t be hard for you to justify the WC elimination with some Samba music act with a Pele poster in the background. Are you up for it, to save your job?

There is no need for Tririca. I’m quitting work already. But Brazilians should think about it ” at least as a manager i didn’t conceded 7 goals” like Felipe Scolari did. Plus, i don’t think he is my rival at dancing samba anymore.. I beleive, from now on, I am here at Brazil going on by dancing instead of coaching. Dance is better..

3) I’m sorry but I believe you will get fired, no matter how much Samba you dance. And sadly, due to high import taxes, a PS4 in Brazil costs roughly $1850. So it’s likely you won’t ever play Brazil again… not even in the PS4. Could life be any harder, at the moment?

I used to have PS4 which was taken from me by some of Brazilian fans after got a bashing from. At this point, The Brazilian Federation could give me some compensation but they even didn’t recognize me on face ( little bloody). They behaved me as if they had forgotten even my name. I don’t understand why that much of anger against me really.. Anyway, i called Felipe Scolari who is one of my best friend and asked him if he had LMA Manager’s floopy disks for Amiga. I have Amiga and he has floopy disks. That is all…

See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de

Portugal sacks manager bill_bill, in the wake of World Cup elimination vs Nesteroide’s Peru

Taking effective immediately, Portuguese Football Federation (PFF) relieved bill_bill from team management, following the quarter-final loss against Peru.

To our microphones PFF President commented on the decision:
“European Champions in title shouldn’t get eliminated by some casual mountain potato growers, nor are we in tune with Mr. bill_bill’s circus style communication. Clearly it was time for a change.”

About the match PFF President has this to say:

“About 20 min into the game Peru had already put our key players Ronaldo & William Carvalho blinking like a christmas tree & our sissy subs then decided to came in with medieval armours for protection. Needless to say that once they fell, they weren’t able to stand up ever again, so we played with minus 2 players in our lineup the rest of the way!”

We later managed to reach contact with Mr. bill_bill, who was clear in his message:

“Chubby PFF President should hit the gym!”.

Invited to adress his professional future, Mr. bill had this to say:

“No kingdom of Arabia salaries here, so another job is in order. Going to open a kids football academy back home… you know how the saying goes: those who can, do; those who can’t, teach!”

See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de

December 21th

gatifun’s Japan secures win vs enbino’s powerhouse England and advances to the quarterfinals stage

1) As the match where managers skill level was theoretically closer, when compared with the remaining 7 matches, SWOS analysts forecast this to be a close one? How was the match, Mr. gatifun?

Yeah, Enbino’s England made a very good first half, really I was lucky. But on second half, I depeloped all my samurai soul and could make it.
Besides, we played on a hill, and I was in the higher side…

2) 52 year old Tsubasa Oozora spoke yesterday after the match, saying Japan is playing like never before! How good is to receive praising by Japan’s football hero?

Oh yes, we have trained how to show shine eyes and got a good hair cut with Tsubasa style, I think It has been the most difficult part of our trainment, but good results are coming!

3) After this magnific win you are by now adored and respected by Japanese fans back home and harakiri (Japanese ritual suicide) is now off the table! However, your bowing has increased exponentially, as you keep saluting tourist Japanese fans here in Russia, and reports say you’re having tremendous back pain. Deeply concerned by this, Japanese emperor decided earlier today to fly over a crew of 20 geisha masseuses to take care of your “health”. Japan’s quartefinals opponents managers djowGer and armandojimenez received this news with a smile on their faces, commenting your focus will never be the same as you’ll be attending these “women in need”. What response do you have for Managers djowGer and armandojimenez? Is Japan’s performance really in risk, from here on out?

I tell Armando and Djowger than help if not necessary, Japan’s manager always will take care of these poor and sad 20 geisha crew and make them happy. I will show them my personal tamagochi in order they can enjoy it as much as they wish!!! To be focused on next match is other story…

May Tsubasa’s spirit guide you to the finals, manager!

Armandojimenez’s South Korea to face djowGer’s Costa Rica, after coming in front of Germany & Mexico in Group 6

1) Recent Journal WC2018 research sugests you will now be facing a very solid defense and prolific attack. On top of it, this is the match where teams are more equivalent, when compared with all other last 16 stage matches. All in all, you’ll be facing a big challenge. Prognostics?

My prediction is that korea is different. We are good in penalty

2) Kim Jong-un is having unconfortable sleeping nights, as South Korea progresses in the World Cup. Are u looking to win the war preemptively by delivering him a long distance heart attack?

Kim Jong-un promises to make players with more talent than Messi. http://www.craveonline.com/culture/1164247-kim-jong-un-promises-produce-north-korean-footballers-talented-messi

3) In Valentine’s Day, Korean women show boyfriends their love by giving them presents. Not the other way around. How did Koreans convinced their women this was the “proper way to be”? Are they more intelligent than the rest of us?

Woman in korea are now robots, like replicants, buy the model of samsung RX, not only give you a present..

See all jounal’s post at Sensiblesoccer.de

December 20th

Tim’s Iceland unable to cope with the high scoring tempo of Nestoroide’s Peru

1) Manager Tim, Iceland’s dream ended upon facing a powerful Peru. Walk us on the events of the match, will you?

It’s very difficult to talk after game like this. Nestoroide for Peru is like Del Bosque for Spain. My players had difficulties gaining control on the ball. Defence was out of question.

2) Reaching the last 16 KO round could be seen as a befitting result to Iceland’s capabilities. Viking fighting spirit didn’t travel with your team to Russia, for the extra push into a quarterfinals place?

It’s the first time we reach that stage of World Cup. People in Iceland are happy and let’s not forget that Peru is not England 🙂

3) I was told the majority of present-day Icelanders believe in Elves and Trolls. Will you try to justify this defeat by saying Peru players are in fact aliens using anti-gravity technology?

Peru players are anunnaki. They play football from another planet.

Belgium’s manager Seth facing a hard challenge vs Poland’s DoTa

1) Manager, tough match coming vs croud favorite DoTa. Are Polish fans in for one hard disappointment?

Of course, the polish team with his great manager DoTa is a very, very hard opponent. But my team is not taking part in this tournament to worship other teams and serve them tea and cookies. We respect DoTas skills but we will give our very best to make belgium great again!
By the way: betting odds are better playing vs favorite teams. Last chance to place a bet on me 🙂

2) Manager DoTa confided me he found Belgium’s achilles heel – having only 2 forwards – and he will be going for an early injury on one of them, forcing you to change tactics! Can curly hair Fellaini also play as striker?

I don’t understand the question. We are not playing with our bench 😊
Mr Fellaini is our secret weapon. If is haircut is in a good mood, it will play every position. You can use it as a one man defensive wall and opponent strikers do not see the goal anymore. The haircut can play as strike and the opposing goal keeper will see the ball too late.
But….is ist now our secret weapon anymore … ?
We also watched many games of the italian national team where you can learn how to get fouled but not getting injured. You know the italian team? They played many world cups in the past…before this one 😊

3) Recent Journal WC2018 research revealed:
a) Belgium & Poland are close teams in relative value, only differing by the 2nd lowest differential among all 8 games;
b) Poland Manager DoTa is the best improved player (SRN) during the WC2018, among all 16 players left;
c) Belgium’s low differential in scored vs conceded goals.

So, no significant advantage in team comparison, facing a prodigy manager and Belgium likely has unresolved defensive issues.What’s the game plan?

Uh, mate…lots of statistic. Do not trust statistic that you did not fake yourself. The truth is in the square. The game lasts 90 minutes. And now I have to pay lots of money for all those phrases 😊
We are looking forward to this game vs one of best manager around here. And our advantage is, that we have nothing to loose. If we loose, we’ll get drunk. If we win, we‘ll get drunk, too! So my team and me are about to win anyway 😊